The Ultimate Lazy Accessory

Love this scarf, right? How could you not?

I suppose, to be perfectly honest, the laziness it is not really an intrinsic quality of the scarf per say.

So let me rephrase, the Ultimate Lazy-Girl Accessory, or as I like to call today’s menagerie of ensembles, a Progressive Outfit (not unlike a progressive dinner party for my back).

The outfit began on Saturday night when I paired this scarf, which I picked up for 2 dollars at a rummage sale (I love to rummage- it’s kind of my thang), with a brown mini dress, brown tights, a pair of kick-ass brown boots and an oversized boyfriend blazer. I didn’t take a photo but someone had a camera so at some point, if there are actually any photos me do not look like blatant marketing for the Sonoma Valley region of vineyards, or a "before" photo for the Betty Ford clinic, I will post them.

That said, Saturday didn’t end until early Sunday so the scarf never actually made it back to its home base in the closet.

Monday morning rolled around and I needed a belt for this outfit…enter scarf.

DKNY Trousers

(Did I just say trousers? A perfect match to last week’s blouse and next weeks dungarees)
Anne Klein Sweater
Jimmy Choo Pumps

Later Monday morning I was “class mommy” for Baby Dean’s co-op preschool so I paired the scarf with…

American Apparel super versatile spandex dress
Gap Granpa Sweater (Thrifted NWT)
Miss Sixty Jeans (bought in college- when Miss Sixty was a small shop in SOHO and nothing more)
Vintage Uggs (Not really vintage but super old)

Monday Evening I paired the dress with matching leggings to teach Pilates.
I have promised Sam and Carly that when they are 13 they can come to my exercise class and be my assistants.

Long Day Today- I will obviously be doing some laundry tomorrow

Put Me in, Coach...I'm Ready to Play Today

File this fantastic Coach messenger bag under "Hey, look what I got for 5 dollars at a garage sale"

I actually love coach leather products, particularly this shade of brown. it always reminds me of a catchers mitt and, need I repeat how much I likey my ball players (I refer of course to Doug and Baby Dean, who pitches lefty BTW)

Black T-Shirt(size XL)- Gap

Oxford Shirt- Anne Fontaine via Samantha's

Skirt- Banana Republic

Boots- Enzo Angionili

Bag- Coach

Baby, If You Ever Wondered Whatever Became of Me

I am truly blessed.

As a young person I followed my heart in all areas against the better judgment of just about everyone around me.

I applied for a job teaching exercise even though I had absolutely no experience and smoked a pack a day…I never ever played it safe with my clothing choices…and I majored in Communications simple because I found it interesting. Whenever anyone asked me what I planned to do with my degree I shrugged.

Now it is my job to discuss the most fascinating topics I can imagine with the one cross section of the population who have just about the same level of maturity that I have settled upon in my adulthood, college freshmen.

This week we are discussing the role media play in our creation of self. So essentially I am getting paid to to discuss Justin Beiber making out in a Honda… Snooki and my own personal use of a “Bump-it” and my favorite: Kardashian hijinx.

Onto the clothes...

Outfits like this are the reason I love Fall. I love the marriage of jeans and boots. Once you add a blazer you have a perfect seasonal, yet ageless ensemble.

I picture Loni Anderson wearing this to her job at WKRP…no wait, this outfit seems more suited to Bailey. It’s just as well; I am more of a Bailey than a Jennifer.

I can also see a video vixen cougar wearing in the 90’s…maybe not Stacy’s mom…perhaps Lindsey’s mom.

The self-scarved blouse look is still works now I think, but this blouse is from the seventies when the self-scarved blouses were new and hot and well, called blouses even by people in their 20’s.

Since Dean had school today too I decided we should dress alike. You see…ageless.

I survived…barely.

School started last week for me and the little ones. There was actually one day where all four of us were at school at the same time.

Fantastic.

I mean I knew this day would eventually come but, much like college graduation and childbirth itself, you are never fully prepared for the wonderment of the actual event.

Doug and I are in full agreement that Dean’s education should be taken very seriously. With one week of preschool under his little belt we have already sat him down and explained the importance of picking a major early on. We are encouraging him towards Pre- Med, Pre- Law and Accountancy perhaps with a minor in Sociology so he will be able to dominate dinner parties.

I don’t usually do kids fashion on this blog but I have a specific vibe I am going for Dean this semester (do preschools have semesters? I know there is no Honor Roll…I asked) I call the look “Prep-school Pot Dealer.”

I hope nobody is offended-I assure you that my 2 year old is not dealing drugs, but the look is quite preppy for a Pizza Bagel

(He’s half Jewish and half Italian)

My classes are amazing this semester. Well, My classes are actually the same exact classes that I have been teaching forever- same syllabi, same books same jokes, but I have new students each semester and this semester they seem engaged in the subject.

This is what I wore the first day of class
Remix- nothing new









This is what I wore Friday
Ann Taylor Bolero Twin Set ($5-Worth Repeating)
Banana Republic trousers (Did I just call them Trousers?- OMG I am turning into my Mother)($5 Worth Repeating
Echo Scarf ($3 Boys and Girls Club Rummage Sale)
Gucci Belt ($25 Junior League Thrift Shop)
Chanel pumps (Saks Fifth Avenue)



And no, I don’t consider myself a label whore- I consider myself a label escort

Pray for Me

This post is dedicated to those of you who do not have children…whether ”yet” or “period.”

The same people who claim complete ownership over their makeup;

And whose earrings all have partners which can be found on places other than Barbie’s plastic lobes;

And whose shoes, whether Steve Madden or Chanel, are not scuffed from toddler romps across the driveway.

You are blissfully unaware of the time of year.

Sure peaches are in season and beer tastes amazing even though the formulas have not been altered, but late august, to those of us blessed with children, is the awkward and uncomfortable period between camp and school.

GOD HELP US

You may have noticed your local liquor store is running low on the hard stuff and your pharmacy is only offering the generic versions. It is because these last few weeks of summer are spent making any attempt to amuse, placate or just keep our little ones quiet.

So far it has been a week and a half and I have been to two movies (but have only gotten to sit though 47 minutes of projection), three trips to the arcade, three trips to the playground, one magic show, two play-dates, one very very tiring trip to the children’s museum and oh yes… this picnic.

The picnic was actually quite fun. We went to Morgan Park which is a beautiful park overlooking the Long Island Sound. Plus it is rarely inhabited so there is never any litter.

It also has a great stage where they feature mediocre cover bands which is actually one of my fetishes. Last week they had 2U, a U2 tribute band.

I introduced Sam and Carly to the movie Annie last month- this is Sam’s rendition of “It’s a Hard Knock Life.”

16 more days until the first day of school…CHEERS

Time Enough at Last

You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind: a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the signpost up ahead- your next stop, the Twilight Zone.

Submitted for your approval – a skate park in a buzzing suburb of a big city. It might be New York City…it might be Chicago..it really doesent matter (but it is New York City).
It’s the middle of August, an exquisite day for skating as the 74 degree temperature suggests that Autumn is making an early cameo.

And yet the park is ominously uninhabited.

Where are all the prepubescent, misunderstood members of this suburb?
Perhaps they have woken up after a night of hard partying to find they are now the playthings of a giant alien toddler…perhaps they suddenly discovered they are not acne ridden middle schoolers at all but department store mannequins out for a monthly romp…perhaps they have been caught by the police and relegated to a far way planet with only a stacked female robot to keep them company (they wish!)

Perhaps unless you are a diehard Twilight Zone fan you are board senseless with this entry and are now just assessing my ensemble.

My Ensemble

I was going for sophisticated former Rock Star mom. Kate Moss meets Cindy Crawford meets Lita Ford. I also wanted to try this whole grey and yellow combo and the Children’s magic show at the Locust Valley Library seemed oh so appropriate. Sam, Carly and Baby Dean Loved it. I was not fooled- I knew the coin was in his hand.

That Jacket had no label, but it was on the 5.00 rack at Worth Repeating.
The belt is from the Boys and Girls Club rummage sale.
Seven for All Mankind jeans
and Prada Ballet flats.

One if by Air...Two if by Armani

SAMANTHA'S
SAMANTHA'S
SAMANTHA'S

In exchange for a mere plug on my itsy blog, Catherine, of SAMANTHA'S CONSIGNMENT, located on School Street in Glen Cove, NY, slashed the price on not one but two Giorgio Armani garments to less than what I paid for lunch (including liquor and gratuities ). Now granted, I am a big eater, but had I consumed these garments at their original prices I would, ironically, not be able to fit into them.

Giorgio Armani silk tunic-$15.oo









As an added bonus, Catherine hoisted herself onto a stool armed with a broom handle and retrieved my Son’s balloon from the cathedral ceiling of the boutique. Sad to admit, but Baby Dean was not exactly forthcoming with his claim over said balloon. But its previous owner had abandon it and left it for dead, and as we know, in toddler etiquette once a child claims something not currently occupied the deed is thus turned over to them.

All in all a fortuitous day at SAMANTHA'S CONSIGNMENT, located on School Street in Glen Cove, NY (All major credit cards accepted)




Giorgio Armani Silk Wrap Dress- $15.00

Thanks Reva

I am long overdue to pay forward compliment from the famous Reva

Reva holds the distinction, in addition to being one of the very best bloggers of vintage mixes, of having my very favorite profile icon picture. Doesn't she look so GLAM!




This award is for being versatile, which I have to admit, I am. Clothing is not like a tattoo so it is fun changing it up and playing with looks.


These are my three favorite that I have posted over the last few months.






























I couldn’t come up with anything very interesting about myself because I am writing this mid- day (Baby Dean’s nap) and Ms. Hyde emerges coincidentally sometime around happy-hour, but here are a few of my favorites things...

Favorite actress- Angelia Jolie (Sorry Everyone)
Favorite TV Show (currently)– Project Runway, RuPaul’s Drag U, WEEDS
Favorite Song - Simple Man
Favorite label- Vince
Favorite scent – Kate Spade
Favorite College Professor - David Linton
Favorite Photo of me (GOD HELP ME)

And I am paying it forward to these amazing bloggers

What Andie Wears
Peanut Butter Hand Print
Schoolmarm Style: Freedom!
Closet Bliss
Beantown Fashionista
Ephemera

Fashion Ubiquity

I have been seeing variations of this ensemble all over town.

I saw a similar style with a longer skirt at Michael Kors at the Americana Manhasset…At Citrus, an amazing little boutique in Locust Valley the top had only one sleeve…and at Saks the frightening faceless mannequin seemed indifferent to her version, which features cigarette pants.

Fashion ubiquity scares me a little and always seems to lead me to the same thought; I had better wear this trend quick because it will be going out of style in 10 minutes.

I don’t do trends much, I much prefer styles which are more vague and open to interpretation. The Boho look is a style…Jeggings are a trend. California Casual is a style… floral rompers are a trend. Not that there is anything wrong with floral rompers and jeggings, but if I am going to invest in a fleeting trend I do have like to be mindful of the expiration date.

Don't Tell My Husband, Please

I am not as good of a wife as my husband thinks I am.

As horrifying backwards and 1950’s as it may be, it really is somewhat of an act.

He thinks I am a culinary genius but really I just specialize in foods that fill the house with scent. I make roasted chicken and meatloaf and oven potatoes.

He thinks the house is always tiny…a half hour before he is due home I play an episode of the Electric Company for the kids and scurry around the house frantically straightening as much as I can. I then brush my hair and put on tinted lip balm (I don’t want to look too contrived).

Oh yea, I also dress for him constantly, just like our first date where I was so excited that I went and bought an entire new outfit (yes, entire) and when we moved in together I threw out my grandma looking pajamas and filled my brand new very own drawer with cute boy shorts and camis.

Now that I know him 13 years worth I am much better at figuring out what he likes, even better than him sometimes.

This outfit he loves. I knew he would when I saw it in a magazine. He likes women in dresses but he doesn’t like dresses that are too frilly, like a doll. The look he likes, by his own admission, is “sharp” which I think this dress is. I am really excited that the upcoming season seems to be featuring a lot of “sharp” looks. I have noticed a lot more camel separates and menswear tailoring.

In case you are interested, I won this dress on Ebay for 12.00. The belt is from the salvation, 1.75. I don’t know what army was previously wearing this belt, but they must have been very stylish.

You Might Vant to Smooze with My Aunt Hilda

Still puffy from antibiotics for my extracted tooth and woozy from pain medication, I was again gifted by the world’s foremost hoarder who coincidently lives in the apartment in my basement and gave birth to my husband in the autumn after the “Summer of Love”(would that make it the "Fall of Love"??)

Today’s treasure: braided leather belt formerly owned by her ex-husband, Doug’s father.

I thought it had a very boho vibe (or is that the hydrocodone talking?) so I paired it with my trusty (and forgiving) Abercrombie shorts, a brown tank and an off white Shmate.

For those of you who don’t know Yiddish I provide the following definition...

Shmate: A rag; a worthless anything, usually a piece of clothing; You're not planning on going out in that Shmate, are you? Oy Vey.

So now if you are ever magically transported to the Lower East Side of Manhattan, circa 1912, you’ll know the language.

Summer of Debauchery

Channeling Holly Golightly

Well, every summer for the past 20 years I have read several books, back to back. Some are bought, others are gifted and others have been sitting on my shelf whispering my name and laying a guilt trip which I am sure they learned from my mother.

Each year I choose a theme, or, to be more accurate, a theme chooses me. A few years ago I did The Rat Pack (Why Sinatra Matters, Yes I am, etc…) a few years before that I was immersed in The African American Experience (Roots, the Color Purple, etc)

So ladies (and Dad) Summer 2010’s theme is… (drumroll)… DEBAUCHERY

Here is a brief review of the books I have read so far and the one I am starting as soon as I hit “Post” this evening.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

I have chosen to review this one first as it is my favorite that I have read this summer thus far and the inspiration for the outfit in today’s post which, by the way, I wore to get my tooth extracted this afternoon.
Holly Golightly is by far my favorite literary whore. Truman Capote is an amazing wordsmith. It is almost contradictory to read such eloquent words written about drugs and sex. The book comes with a few extra short stories which are likewise, about sex and drugs.

Some girls

Synopsis…Jersey girl becomes part of a Harem. Now, I don’t like to judge, but I don’t like biographies where the narrator constantly berates the people around them as having few morals when they themselves are doing the exact same thing. Plus, she is so filled with guilt that she has trouble actually depicting what happened to her accurately. The shopping scenes are fun- the debauchery scenes are a little like when you tell your husband about your ex-boyfriend. You can’t pretend that you didn’t like him…but you can’t make him seem like he was THAT much fun.

How to Make Love Like a Portn Star: Jenna Jameson Autobiography

Please do not read this book. It is an insult to literacy.

Last Exit to Brooklyn

Oh my Gosh- This book was amazing- but very gritty. I still feel like I need a Silkwood shower and I finished reading it a month and a half ago. If your favorite book is “The Secret Garden” this book is not for you.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

My mother read this and hated it…my cousin read it and loved it. I am going to decide myself.

Severing My Ties (or Not)

Yes, this skirt is fashioned entirely from ties. Ten, to be exact. I feel so powerful…so competent… so middle managerial.

It’s all a little bittersweet though. It’s a rather sad tale…

You remember when you were a kid and you spend hours daydreaming about your wedding? What colors it would be; which song you and your betrothed would share dance to; what filling your cake would have.

Well, according to my husband men also clock in hours at the fantasy planning factory, but their fantasy is about the proposal.

This was his plan:

He would pay someone to deliver a video to his lady friend’s office. There she would watch a tape of him, in a point of view, shot walking into her office building..saying hello to the concierge…going up the elevator…walking down the hall and eventually knocking at the door of her office with a ring in his hand. At that point he would be at her door and he would actually knock (on her door…not on the tape)and she would open the door and see him standing there with a ring.

Awww. Very romantic, no?

Sadly for him I foiled his plans. I am not sure who he was planning to marry but I am quite certain she has much nicer underwear than me and wears ties to work frequently. Apparently she has a “real job” (9 to 5) and her own office, which indicates some measure of success since she is not in some sort of cubicle. Also, her office is large enough to house a VHS and monitor, which she has need for frequently. Not only that, but she works in an office with a concierge: Wow…fancy.

I teach. I have a classroom full of hung-over freshmen and no office. I have a little space in a shared faculty office but am warned not to leave anything there because it will certainly disappear. Though we do have a VHS and monitor it has not worked since the mid-90s (but perhaps that is only true when in front of a classroom).

You didn’t want her anyway, Doug, trust me. Plus look, I have ties too. I am very corporate.