Severing My Ties (or Not)

Yes, this skirt is fashioned entirely from ties. Ten, to be exact. I feel so powerful…so competent… so middle managerial.

It’s all a little bittersweet though. It’s a rather sad tale…

You remember when you were a kid and you spend hours daydreaming about your wedding? What colors it would be; which song you and your betrothed would share dance to; what filling your cake would have.

Well, according to my husband men also clock in hours at the fantasy planning factory, but their fantasy is about the proposal.

This was his plan:

He would pay someone to deliver a video to his lady friend’s office. There she would watch a tape of him, in a point of view, shot walking into her office building..saying hello to the concierge…going up the elevator…walking down the hall and eventually knocking at the door of her office with a ring in his hand. At that point he would be at her door and he would actually knock (on her door…not on the tape)and she would open the door and see him standing there with a ring.

Awww. Very romantic, no?

Sadly for him I foiled his plans. I am not sure who he was planning to marry but I am quite certain she has much nicer underwear than me and wears ties to work frequently. Apparently she has a “real job” (9 to 5) and her own office, which indicates some measure of success since she is not in some sort of cubicle. Also, her office is large enough to house a VHS and monitor, which she has need for frequently. Not only that, but she works in an office with a concierge: Wow…fancy.

I teach. I have a classroom full of hung-over freshmen and no office. I have a little space in a shared faculty office but am warned not to leave anything there because it will certainly disappear. Though we do have a VHS and monitor it has not worked since the mid-90s (but perhaps that is only true when in front of a classroom).

You didn’t want her anyway, Doug, trust me. Plus look, I have ties too. I am very corporate.