My Boyfriend's Back

I NEEDED a boyfriend blazer.

To which I can plainly hear my father saying “No…You WANTED a boyfriend blazer.”

To which I must respond “au contraire, do you not read Vogue? Elle? Seventeen?” No? What kind of self respecting 71 year old heterosexual male are you? Quick, go out and buy a copy of Cosmo and catch up man.”

I NEEDED, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a boyfriend blazer. My husband’s brimming closet of suits and blazers offered no suitable contender, as he is 6’3 and 230lbs and I am 5’4 and …not 230lbs.

This one is from Calvin Klein and I assume whichever tiny tiny man wore it was the hit of the party back in 1987.

So what does one do in a “boyfriend blazer”? Visit one’s boyfriend, of course. Armed with a quart of Matzo ball soup and a Roast Beef on Rye from Ben’s Kosher Deli, Baby Dean and I paid Hubby a surprise lunch visit today at the office.

And while I still stand firm that I NEEDED this blazer, this awesome brown dress that I eyed two racks over was a Want…but notice the capital W. I plan to chop off a foot or so and turn it into a fantastic tunic that I will wear as an obscenely short dress


My Shameless Habit

Meow...I am a shameless copycat.

Months ago I spotted this little skirt on Brittney's "It's Exhausting Being this Juicy" Blog. I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. But if you know Juicy you know that for this little skirt I am expected to shell out the dollar equivalent of orchestra seats to La Cage Aux Follies

But I never forgot you little skirt, and all the tantalizing ways Ms. Brittney suggested she would wear you.

Last week I was cruising the 5 dollar rack at Worth Repeating and what to my wandering eyes should appear?

A Snip here...a cut here and I have my skirt- or a reasonable facsimile- for the dollar equivalent of renting la Cage Aux Follies or that amazing remake The Birdcage (a fitting theme considering today's blog).

Is there any outfit that Chuck Taylors don't instantly make awesome?

By the way, don't forget to stop by Style...the New Black to enter to win these awesome Cuffs!


Where's the Spoon?...Aha

When I put this outfit together I immediately had to add the belt. Without it I look way too much like a waitress and I am NOT a waitress...anymore.

Yes, it is true, I count myself among the millions of other adults who waited tables in their youth. I subsided on hot wings and frozen sugar water, carried five bottles of Budweiser expertly in one hand and I shamelessly flirted with homely men (and the occasional woman) to earn a ten dollar tip on three bottles of Corona. I can admit this because I have been witness to my now husband dance...nay grind on top of the bar with entire Bachelorette parties when he was bartending.

And while I still impress dinner guests with being able to clear any size table of food and dishes with one single trip, I no longer accept tips for doing so. Hence the belt.

Won't you join me on a trip down memory lane...

This is me celebrating my 23 birthday at the Bear Bar, NYC

This is Hubby and Adam (Hubby is the Kisser- Adam is the Kissee)

And this is Sam and Carly wearing the exact same T-Shirts I met their Daddy in!!!


A New York Doll...But Not one of the Originals

Today my day planner was packed with a smorgasbord of “grown-up” tasks. On the menu were two lectures this morning on persuasion and propaganda, a parent teacher conference (I am the Parent in this scenario) and a “Whole Foods” run (or as my cousin calls the store, “Whole Paycheck”).
Of course I decided to channel my inner rock goddess for these tasks. Actually, my black skinny jeans have been calling my name for the past week and a half so I had to humor them for fear of revolt- you know how black skinny jeans are.

I was torn between two icons but finally decided to channel the ever feminine David Johanson for this look, front man for the New York Dolls- I’m sorry Joey Ramone, you will be channeled soon.

The accessories to this outfit are my favorites- the belt was my first belt, couldn’t leave it in the store because I knew I would think about it and the shoes are my birthday shoes from when I was pregnant with the twins; Prada ballet flats that are actually black with a gun metal toe, but I like them all black so I carry a spray can of black shoe polish in my car.


Here's to You Mr. Robinson

Yesterday marked the 63rd anniversary of Jackie Robinson metaphorically whacking that athletic color barrier with his trusty Louisville Slugger.

Today I am honoring this moment history as it encompasses many of my favorite elements:

1) Baseball Players (Yum);
2) Recognizing when a rule is asinine and changing it, as opposed to just breaking it;
3) Brooklyn (Go Brooklyn…go Brooklyn).

I am from Brooklyn. Yup…I’m a Brooklyn girl.
Right now my brothers and my husband are laughing (of course they are…all three were born in Queens). I always maintained that I am from Brooklyn, even though I only lived there for a mere 6 months (my first 6 months) and they all think I am absolutely ridiculous for the claim.

But I was born in Brooklyn and I think that accounts for something. So in honor of Jackie Robinson and by far my favorite borough I drink a glass (or three) and give you this short list of great things that were also born in Brooklyn:

Juniors Cheesecake
The Beastie Boys
The Country’s first Suspension Bridge
Spike Lee
Peter Lugers Steakhouse
Woody Allen
The Country's oldest still functioning (poorly) rollercoaster
Nathan’s Famous Franks
Hurbert Shelby Jr.
Issac Mizrahi

This is my outfit today. It has nothing to do with Jackie Robinson or Brooklyn but I thought it was cute. I will be blogging about my knock-off Dr. Scholls soon.


Dressed for a Game of Ping Pong

You know how some people are referred to as “old souls” because they have some sort of inherent understanding of the universe that can only be obtained through coming back and seeing the seasons change 500 or so times?

I am NOT one of these people. I am brand spakin’ new I assure you. I am mystified and intrigued by the simplest processes…flowers blooming…airplanes …even though their explanations are pretty commonly known and make perfect sense to third graders. I am unable to exercise any emotional restraint; I moan loudly when I eat food that I like, even if I have had it 100 times in the past month; I wail in movie theaters where other people merely tear up; and I when I hear a song that I like I dance and sing along wherever I am, grocery stores, restaurants, hospitals…

I am generally pretty immature. I have accepted this fact. My clothing reflects this acceptance.

This is my Abercrombie and Fitch denim mini skirt. It is my best friend. Abercrombie and Fitch denim mini skirt, meet the blogosphere; blogosphere, meet my Abercrombie and Fitch denim mini skirt. I have worn this skirt all summer long every year for the past 6 years. When I was pregnant with the twins I left the button and the zipper open.

I am quite aware that a woman my age- closer to 40 than 30- much much closer- has no business wearing this skirt. Totally inappropriate even at the beach!!! I know this because a few years ago I was talking to the lovely and amazingly stylish Heather who said she would never step foot in Abercrombie and Fitch because everyone in the store is 10 years young than her …Heather is 5 years younger than me.

Today I went out and bought my best friend Abercrombie and Fitch denim mini skirt a new playmate- this white Ann Taylor blouse (am I really that young if I am referring to this garment and a blouse?) They seem pretty happy together.

I am off to get Iced Cream with Baby Dean.

In other news...

I received the highly coveted Sunshine Award which is so fitting for the gorgeous day we are having here in the North East. I am passing on this award to the following lovely ladies...

North of 25A
karlascloset.com (you've gotta check this one out- such style this kid has)
and of course...

(he he he- tag...your it)


What I Didn't Wear on Saturday

This past Saturday night I had a girls night out at a swanky restaurant where the beautiful people go to apparently dine on miniscule portions of mediocre fair, drink watered down versions of popular libations and revel in their beauty. Saturday afternoon my friend Karen (who didn’t even end up coming out with us) asked me to email her a photo of what I was planning to wear. So here it is…what I was planning to wear.

Well, Hubby’s response convinced me to rethink this outfit. In all fairness he was responding to the question, “Do you think this top is too revealing?” and as the steam about to emit from his ears was visible, audible and olfactoral I answered my own question and scurried back to my closet and found a more appropriate top.

Hubby has “approved” this ensemble for general viewing this coming Saturday, when we are going out to dinner with a group of five other couples, the wives of whom this outfit seems tame in comparison.

Disclaimer: Hubby is not some weird control freak who tells me what to wear and what not to wear. I asked…he responded (non-verbally)…I respected his opinion.

P.S. As long as everyone is posting about their shoes today, these puppies make me a full 5 inches taller than I actually am. So I no longer represent the Lollypop Guild, the Lollypop Guild, the Lollypop Guild, and I no longer wish to welcome you to Munchkinland!


Like School On Saturday...No Class

If you recognize the title of this post you are a true child of the 70s. It is from Fat Albert and it WAS my husbands favorite joke. That is until we started dating.

I work Saturdays. All day Saturday. 7 hours of lecturing and this is what I am going to be wearing (I always wear the same thing on Saturday that I do on Thursday because it makes my life easier and the classes are at different colleges so who's to know?)

That said, what I am I doing the night before? Preparing my lecture? No. Grading papers? No. Drinking cheap wine and blogging...BINGO.


I see London...I see France

Ahhh the change of seasons. I am going through an interesting fashion phase this season. I am calling it the “Vintage Lingerie” look. Hubby says it suites me…of course he does.

The concept stems from another one of my theories about men and that is the following: men like to see women in their underwear. This is not an academic theory derived through evenings of combing massive volumes of empirical literature; no, I came up with this theory in Jr. High school while watching the movie Porkies II with my older brothers.

Men like to see women, of all ages, shapes and sizes, wearing undergarments. The undergarments need not be current, they just need to possess that inherent naughtiness that only true undergarments can.

This theory has informed my spring shopping tremendously.

This little number is from Old Navy of all places. I believe it is pajamas or shall I say, I assume it is pajamas.

This little lace bolero jacket is from Worth Repeating. It seems to have originally been a lace table runner but someone had the where-with –all to turn it in to an accessory. It came into my possession less than a week ago ($12) and I have worn it four times.

This is from a company called BB Dakota. It was NWT on Ebay so I couldn't’t resist putting in a $20 bid. (and that is my 4 year old daughter Carly's thumb in the shot)


Happy Easter

I couldn't resist posting a few of our Easter shots. I hope everyone's was awesome.

In Praise of the Snarky

This past Saturday I was the 5th wheel for dinner with Mother, Father, Eldest Brother and Sister in Law. (hubby was laid up with a foot injury that he assures me only coincidentally coincided with the final four). Well, at this dinner Eldest Brother regaled us with a story of a chance encounter with a certain couturier. Wherein said couturier displayed a less than stellar disposition. Due obvious legal restrictions I can’t divulge the name of the couturier, but his initials are KC and his name rhymes with Bennith Bole.

Of course Eldest Brother’s story got me thinking though… about my white Bennith Bole blazer that I had yet to done since I bought it this past winter at Next to New Consignment, in Oyster Bay, NY. Dare I wear it? Should I wear it? Am I rewarding the ill mannered, yet wildly talented Bennith Bole by becoming a veritable walking advertisement for this kind of sour behavior? Hey, I’ve worn garments with much worse agendas.

So today I wore my blazer in honor not only of Bennith Bole but of all the “snarky” people who have touched my life. There have been many and I truly have loved each one, not in spite of their snarkiness, but because of it. My college advisor, Arlene; one of my best best best friends in college, Laura; my former step instructor, Deborah -Anne; my current hair stylist, Jessica; Mother and Grandmother. I understand these people and I do not take their dispositions personally. Some people are generally peppy perky people and some people roll their eye...constantly.

But to balance it out I was EXTRA nice today. I logged my students’ midterm grades on a curve, I let someone go in front of me on line at Target, I gave my Pilates class an extra five minutes at the end and I read my kids Goodnight Moon three times instead of two.


Look Momma...I'm Pretty

Wow!! North of 25A awarded me the Beautiful Blogger Award...AWW SHUCKS. Thanks Colleen; you're beautiful too.

Here are the rules behind the award:

1. Thank & link to the person that gave you the award. Thank you, North of 25A. I saw your sign up at the Locust Valley Market and I said "WOO-HOO another blogger in the neighborhood.

2. Pass this award onto 10 bloggers.

OK, here goes...

No More Sweatpants
Mrs Hall In Training
Don't Forget Your Lunch
Nifty*Thrifty* Retro*Mama
Frugal Contessa
Maison de Merriman

Contact Blogs to let them know they’ve won.

4. Tell seven things about yourself:

1. My oldest daughter is named Sam Malone because my husband was a ballplayer when he was young but a bartender when I met him (now he is a lawyer).

2. I was a stage mom for 2 years when Sam and her identical twin, Carly Simon played Bree Buchanan on One live to Live. YouTube - My Girl - Nash & Brennan mvid and yes, the guy who plays their daddy is super hot in real life. (btw-the infant shots are not the girls-they started when they were 3 months old)

3. I let my mother pick out my wedding gown and I got to pick out her dress for my wedding.

4. I have a Masters Degree in Communication Theory (Media Ecology) from NYU and my thesis is on men watching sports (not playing mind you...just watching) prognosis- men are silly.

5. I credit my dad with my obsession with shoes because he bought me (against my mother's wish) my first pair of kitten heels when I was 14 (shhhhhhh).

6. My favorite foods are chocolate rum cake, Pizza with Basil and BBQ Pulled Pork.

7. I always wanted to go to circus school to learn how to be an aerialist- you know those ladies who do ballet above the crowds.

Blog Awards are fun...pass it on.